he burned a smile into his arm
she burned a mirror into her mind
and they burned me out of my hole
can't I remember? where did they go?
they said "we're sorry, we have no choice"
keep me silent, drown out my voice
they said no wires, and nothing sharp
just beds and pills and flourescent dark
REFRAIN
you never asked, "how do you feel?"
I never said, "I fear I'm real"
so don't pretend you give a damn
when what you hate is who I am
by the fountain the geese rose up
above the ground I never touch
it was perfect in its own way
you see, they only move
and they never stay
REFRAIN
just two weeks, not all that long
ten years past, now it's a song
I am only who I was before
nothing less, slightly more
thank you Cherise and thank you John
I do know now that we were wrong
maybe I'll see you, maybe you're better
or maybe you'll hear this and see it's a letter
just a letter
a love letter
to our history
A Love Letter to Our History
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This is elegant and concise,
"I fear I'm real" I think is also problematic. It stands out, is almost too intentional for me to trust. It's the only spot where the speaker of the piece seems heavy handed and desperate.
Didn't see the point of abandoning punctuation and capped lettered at the start of sentences. I guess it adds something to the song-y-ness of the piece, but seeing it written on a page, still a bit disconcerting.
This is one I don't think a
Plus, it's biographical, which is always problematic for me.
I agree with your criticisms, anowalk!
i liked it. for some reason
idk. just sayin.... lol
I liked it,
Especially
"they said no wires, and nothing sharp
just beds and pills and flourescent dark"
I'll try and write up a better comment when I'm not worried my head's going to explode.