Poetry

 There's not a lot wrong technically with these poems.  My main complaint is that there's nothing really original here.  

These expressions of grief/sadness/despair could have been voiced by a million different people.  What's different about your viewpoint?  What makes you different and interesting and worth reading, from a million other poets all writing about the same thing?  That's what I want to read--something truly unique, that expresses your thoughts in a way that is totally you.  Your personal take on this.  

Poetry is difficult.  You can't just write down some flowery words and lace them together in a quasi-surreal/nonsensical way and expect people to ooh over it.  Some will, of course, which is generally what you'll find on WEbook.

Good poetry makes you feel strange in the head.  Good poetry sticks with you, even if you might not have known what it meant.  It has some kind of impact, you feel something.  I like to think of poetry as an emotional painting.  Instead of prose, which generally paints a picture of certain, concrete things happening, poetry captures a certain emotion, a certain moment or way of thought, and gives that to the reader.  

Here's a poem to check out: 

My Sister's Funeral 
Gerald Stern 
Since there was no mother for the peach tree we did it all alone, which made the two of us closer though closeness brought its loneliness, and it would have been better I think sometimes to be sterile from the start just to avoid the pain which in my life this far has lasted seventy years for I am in love with a skeleton on whose small bones a dress hung for a while, on whose small skull a bit of curly hair was strung, and what is dust I still don’t know since there was no mother to turn to then and ask what else was she wearing, did she have on shoes, and were the two trees from Georgia, and was it true somebody said the other peach should have died instead of her; and I could imagine the nose going first though forty years later the trees were still there and not as big as you’d think; and it was my cousin Red with the flabby lips who said it, he had red eyes, a red monstrosity, a flabby body, half the house was filled with male cousins, they were born in rooms a short distance from the rats, I can’t remember which ones had the accents nor what his Hebrew name was, nor his English.

 damn formatting. 

You can google it as well for original formatting. 

 It's vs its. 
I'm a bit of a grammar nazi.
But this is really, really simple. 
If you could replace it's with "it is," then you use the apostrophe. 
If you can't, you don't. 
For example, 
"It's a nice day out" could be said as "it is a nice day out." An apostrophe is in order here.

"Its eyes were blacker than a Welsh coalmine." "It is eyes were blacker..." makes no sense.  Therefore, skip the apostrophe and go with its.